I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
