I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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