she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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