Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it glows. i had to have it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
