Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
