You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
