I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
