i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
