i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
