I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize