Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
