I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dick very happy bro
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
