Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
