Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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