I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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