I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
