Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
