if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
