my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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