It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
