he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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