ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
