I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The air taste purple.
Randomize
