i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
