i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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