thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And thatβs why I need a side dick
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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