There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
