I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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