So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
