just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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