Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
