Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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