Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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