you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You are a genius and a whore.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
