I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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