I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
