I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
