Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize