I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
this beer tastes like vomit already
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would fuck him just for his dog
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