just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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