Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
