U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
