I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
