Bisexual people are plain selfish.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
