why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
