When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
