Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
