I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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