I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
