I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
