so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize