HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
