I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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