Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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