So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
