Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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