so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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