just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
