Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
