Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
