No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
