dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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