I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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